I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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