You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
