Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
