Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
