Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize