Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
