Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
