Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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(561): View more from Florida

i will soon be in a relationship on fb

(919): View more from North Carolina

you!?

(561): View more from Florida

me and your mom. i mean, lisa.

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(416): View more from Ontario

Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway

(860): View more from Connecticut

That's what she gets for taking his peeps.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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(210): View more from Texas

You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL

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(224): View more from Illinois

You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing

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