I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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