She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.