I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
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I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
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Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing