so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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