my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
