Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
