Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
