I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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