My brain says no but my pants say off.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
