she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
