I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
