Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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