You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
