im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the condom got lost in my hair
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize