I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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