Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
