omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
