What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
