my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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