are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
