whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Pants are for mortals
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
