he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
