I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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