dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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