there's paper in my vomit.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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