I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
