We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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