My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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