Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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