I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
