apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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