I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
