I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
