you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
