What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
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Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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