Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize