Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize