My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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