Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
