I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
