Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
