True but thats because hes a fetus.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
