so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
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i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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