i'm signing you up for texting rehab
too bad you live with your parents still
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
