is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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