Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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