whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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