Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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