I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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