Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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