I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
