Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
