Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
