make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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