I hate ducks.
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.