i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
