u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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