hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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