Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
