i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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