Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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